New Moon.

I must begin this post by apologising profusely.
I have been so engrossed with everything BUT blogging I haven't even opened this page in months, and I do apologise to those who read what I write.
I genuinely appreciate you guys taking the time to read my stuff, and I will endeavour to remain as loyal to you as you are to me.
Now that the housekeeping is over with, let's move onto another review!

It used to be that twilight was purely a (slightly overlooked) time of day.
I miss those days.

For those of you living under a hole for the last year or two, Twilight is the American tween saga that has (unfortunately) taken over the world. It follows the two main characters Edward and Bella as they fall in love and try to deal with the challenges the world throws at them.
Oh. And Edward's a vampire.
Who REALLY wants to suck Bella's blood.
Which might explain the constipated look he has.
Either way, many young girls now wish for a relationship like the one portrayed in the book. And go utterly mental at the sight of anything even remotely related to Twilight.

The faces of evil

I read the series of books to begin with, and although a half-decent story line the writing was, in my opinion, awful.
It would seem Stephanie Meyer lacked a simple tool every writer should own.

Please. If not for me, for the English language

Apparently the only words she can use to describe Edward (the male lead, and vampire) is "like Adonis" and our lead protagonist Bella (human) is "clumsy".

Now, the first film (entitled simply 'Twilight') was a shambles.
Of course it was a smash hit at the box office, but I can only assume that was due to Robert Pattison being slightly good looking. The acting was wooden and I honestly would have got more emotion out of this chair I'm sitting in.
The second film (The Twilight Saga: New Moon) had a longer title, and a smidgen better cast.
Apparently some of the budget went into acting lessons, as Kristen (Bella) actually did more than pout. Although Robert didn't do much else.
Unfortunately I saw the film Monday, and as it was kinda forgettable I'm running out of things to comment on.
Mike (human) is a school friend of Bella's, but to me he seemed to be around 30. It was creepy.
The end scene was Edward proposing to Bella. Apparently I missed out on all the tweens' reactions as I didn't see the film in the cinema. By all accounts they started screaming at the screen, demanding to know her answer.
I can only assume they don't know what a book is.
The thing that stuck with me was actually Bella's reaction to the proposal. Her stupid, delayed reaction.
It went something like this:
Edward: ...Marry me
*Lots of camera angles*
*Back and forth between the characters*
*I made a drink*
*Built a house*
Bella: *gasps*

What the hell.
Just. What the hell.
I will allow the fact that Bella may be shocked at the proposal, but you wouldn't gasp after about 30 seconds of silence.

All in all, the second film was better than the first.
But that wasn't much of an achievement.

Anyway.
I'm now bored of myself, so I imagine you are too.
Thanks for sticking with me, and I'll speak to you all later.

Quote of the day:
What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?! Why can't you give me some normal food! You're Scottish, fry something!
Matt Smith as the 11th Doctor